Line King likes home teams, contrarian picks this week - WAFB 9 News Baton Rouge, Louisiana News, Weather, Sports

Line King likes home teams, contrarian picks this week

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  • LSU football enjoys team outing at original T.J. Ribs restaurant

    LSU football enjoys team outing at original T.J. Ribs restaurant

    Tuesday, August 11 2015 9:37 PM EDT2015-08-12 01:37:12 GMT
    Tuesday, August 11 2015 10:06 PM EDT2015-08-12 02:06:19 GMT
    The LSU football team took a break from the sweaty grind of fall camp Tuesday night to enjoy some team bonding and great food.More >>
    The LSU football team took a break from the sweaty grind of fall camp Tuesday night to enjoy some team bonding and great food.More >>
  • LSU football wants return to 2011 defense

    LSU football wants return to 2011 defense

    Thursday, August 6 2015 3:15 PM EDT2015-08-06 19:15:51 GMT
    Thursday, August 6 2015 3:36 PM EDT2015-08-06 19:36:51 GMT
    LSU may have ranked No. 1 in the SEC defensively last season, but many fans and analysts agree that wasn’t an accurate reflection of how the team actually played. More >>
    LSU may have ranked No. 1 in the SEC defensively last season, but many fans and analysts agree that wasn’t an accurate reflection of how the team actually played. More >>
  • LSU football reports for fall camp, Miles says Bain was never reinstated

    LSU football reports for fall camp, Miles says Bain was never reinstated

    Wednesday, August 5 2015 12:06 PM EDT2015-08-05 16:06:42 GMT
    Wednesday, August 5 2015 4:52 PM EDT2015-08-05 20:52:04 GMT
    On a steamy and sweltering morning in south Louisiana, the LSU football team officially reported for the start of fall camp. The Tigers checking into the West Campus Apartments Wednesday morning, with their first practice set for Thursday. More >>
    On a steamy and sweltering morning in south Louisiana, the LSU football team officially reported for the start of fall camp. The Tigers checking into the West Campus Apartments Wednesday morning, with their first practice set for Thursday. More >>

The following column is satire and intended for entertainment purposes.

(RNN) - Week 5, and what a week it was for Alabama. Is Nick $aban leaving or staying? Has Texas contacted him or not? Why would he go? Why would he stay?

What does he eat for breakfast? Two Little Debbie snack cakes, every single day? How weird is he, anyway? Why does anyone care?

This whole $aban-to-Texas thing and $aban himself have been analyzed more than a Stanley Kubrick film, and The Line King is, quite frankly, tired of it.

Focus, people!

The Line King views college football teams with the sort of dispassion that commodities brokers regard pork bellies and orange juice futures. The Line King is focused, and just look at his ROI:

Week Four: 6-3-1

Season: 23-17-1

Games of Sept. 28

South Carolina @ UCF +7.5: UCF Check List…stomp Akron, check; stomp FIU, check; stomp Penn State, check…wait, what? Pundits say never go against The Visor so The Line King will.

South Alabama @ Tennessee -19: Really, just 19 points against a program that is about three weeks old? How far have the Vols fallen? With a win, this gives Tennessee the inside edge for their first Sun Belt Conference title and a spot in the R+L Carriers Bowl.

LSU @ Georgia -3: In the ultimate contrarian play, take the Hedges over the Bayou. It's the antithesis of the classic "sandwich" game. The Dawgs laid an egg last week and have a cream-puff schedule from here on out; and please, all of you Tennessee fans don't say a thing.

Mississippi @ Alabama -16.5: Again, classic contrarian play. Everyone loves Hugh Freezer, and the Black Bear is all giddy about returning to the Cotton Bowl. No one, and I mean no one, outside of the 205, 334 and 251 area codes likes Bammer, so take the Tide.

Florida @ Kentucky +14.5: At some point Kentucky has to cover against an $EC team, right?

FAU @ Rice -13.5: Rice gets a second chance after the greatest onside kick ever.

Texas A&M @ Arkansas +3: Arkansas' loss to Rutgers last week fully debunked the theory that $EC teams are manned by superior human beings. Mike $live sent out his official warning letter to the Hogs.

Arkansas St. @ Missouri -21.5: Missouri proved last week it can pretend to be an $EC team when the $live-heat is on to perform.

UAB @ Vanderbilt -19.5: Although UA's B team is still in the running for the FCS playoffs, The Line King will sit with the Vandy fan this weekend. Goodness knows, he needs some moral support having gone 1-3 against the number so far this season.

Wyoming @ Texas State +10.5: Ironically, Texas State is coached by former Bammer coach Dennis Franchione (remember those two years?), who resigned from Bammer for Texas A&M… hmmmm.

Copyright 2013 Raycom News Network. All rights reserved.

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  • Mississippi stuns No. 16 Mississippi State 31-28 in Egg Bowl

    Mississippi stuns No. 16 Mississippi State 31-28 in Egg Bowl

    Thursday, November 23 2017 11:32 PM EST2017-11-24 04:32:53 GMT
    Friday, November 24 2017 3:13 PM EST2017-11-24 20:13:35 GMT
    Jordan Ta'amu threw for 247 yards and two touchdowns, Jordan Wilkins ran for two scores and Mississippi upset No. 16 Mississippi State 31-28.More >>
    Jordan Ta'amu threw for 247 yards and two touchdowns, Jordan Wilkins ran for two scores and Mississippi upset No. 16 Mississippi State 31-28.More >>
  • Week 13 preview: Rivalry week and high stakes are everywhere

    Week 13 preview: Rivalry week and high stakes are everywhere

    Thursday, November 23 2017 1:42 AM EST2017-11-23 06:42:17 GMT
    Friday, November 24 2017 1:35 AM EST2017-11-24 06:35:22 GMT
    Yes, it is rivalry week in college football and the old saying goes that anything can happen when rivals get together, but let's not go overboard. Alabama has won seven of nine against Auburn because the Tide has...More >>
    Yes, it is rivalry week in college football and the old saying goes that anything can happen when rivals get together, but let's not go overboard. Alabama has won seven of nine against Auburn because the Tide has been clearly better more often than not.More >>
  • Ole Miss upsets #14 Mississippi State 31-28 in Egg Bowl

    Ole Miss upsets #14 Mississippi State 31-28 in Egg Bowl

    Friday, November 24 2017 1:10 AM EST2017-11-24 06:10:06 GMT
    Source: WLBT/FOX 40 SportsSource: WLBT/FOX 40 Sports

    #14 Mississippi State entered the Egg Bowl as a double digit favorite. The Bulldogs suffered a double whammy on Thursday. Nick Fitzgerald was injured and Ole Miss upset MSU 31-28. Fitzgerald suffered the injury in the 1st quarter. He would leave the game on a cart but came back on crutches in the 2nd half. Breeland Speaks & DeMarquis Gates made the tackle on the play, Speaks commented on the play after the game .@Bspeaks9 on Fitzgerald’s injury pic.twitter.com/jpToqjyr3z...

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    #14 Mississippi State entered the Egg Bowl as a double digit favorite. The Bulldogs suffered a double whammy on Thursday. Nick Fitzgerald was injured and Ole Miss upset MSU 31-28. Fitzgerald suffered the injury in the 1st quarter. He would leave the game on a cart but came back on crutches in the 2nd half. Breeland Speaks & DeMarquis Gates made the tackle on the play, Speaks commented on the play after the game .@Bspeaks9 on Fitzgerald’s injury pic.twitter.com/jpToqjyr3z...

    More >>
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